Recent studies estimate that around 20 percent of the American population is considered neurodiverse. However, it seems that the modern workplace still lacks th
Listening is at the heart of everything we do, yet in this age of infinite information and sensory overload, it feels like a lost art. It's hard to resist the urge to check one's phone, answer a Slack message, or mindlessly Google things during meetings. There was a time that I, like many others, would check email during a slow meeting or a dinner. I realized some years ago it's bad, but real listening is hard. It’s even harder to realize you may be struggling with listening. A study found 94 percent of the managers who were rated as bad listeners saw themselves as good or very good listeners.
Back to Basics: I remember in elementary school when teachers taught us how to listen. The models they used were crude but effective:
These strategies cover the basics (1) but are not enough to counter the distractions and challenges of everyday life, especially as it becomes more complicated in the workplace. After all, it's much easier to pay attention during story time in kindergarten than on a Zoom call with Facebook at your fingertips.
The Eureka Model: Our model to evaluate listening has seven key components, split into two categories: Nature or Genetic Behaviors, and Nurture or Learned Behaviors. Undertaking your individual score can help develop strategies to improve your overall listening. For more information, reach out to our team for a consultation.
We define effective listening as:
Nature or Genetic Behaviors Relative to Listening:
When balanced and well-executed
Nurture or Learned Behaviors:
When balanced and well-executed
One of the most common questions we are asked is, “How can I be a better listener?” The good news is that it is rather simple; it just takes time and effort. To achieve this, we have a few steps that anyone can take to add a bit of complexity to our helpful kindergarten model.
Prepare mentally: Our workdays are busy, and we all have a lot on our plates. The best way to make conversations both efficient and productive is to prepare thoroughly. In many meetings, while others are talking, we focus solely on what we are going to say next. Instead, take five or ten minutes before the meeting to write down or think about what you are going to say so you can fully process and engage with the people around you.
Ask revealing questions: Asking questions is easy, but asking deep, thoughtful questions is much harder. However, practicing this skill is key to really listening. Go beyond simple "why" questions. Ask about the speaker's thought process and how they prioritized their thinking. Develop a thorough understanding of the construct of the person's position.
Develop empathy: Genuinely care about and connect with the person you're listening to. Treat your coworkers, friends, and anyone else with the same respect you would want them to have toward you. Treat them as you do the ones you love.
Control competitive impulses: In an age of hyper-polarization, it is easy to engage in a conversation to “win.” Simply stating that you hate a politician, policy, or idea leaves no room for nuance and understanding in the conversation, making it less productive and unpleasant.
Conclusion: I’m a cyclist, and for me, the best way to think about listening is through the lens of cycling. The only way you can get better at both skills is by working at it more, time on the bike! To be a better listener, one needs to listen more. It has been a bit of a challenge really trying to listen these past few years while developing these models, but I have noticed a difference in my communication with friends and family. I’m more engaged, connected, and empathetic toward them, and all I had to do was listen. By the way, do not put your phone on the table at dinner or a meeting. It indicates you are waiting for something better to happen.
Recent studies estimate that around 20 percent of the American population is considered neurodiverse. However, it seems that the modern workplace still lacks th
One of the most common questions we are asked is, “How can I be a better listener?” The good news is that it is rather simple; it just takes time and effort.
We are extremely excited to hold two IBE Certificate Program events this fall! The events will take place in London (UK) and Cambridge (MA). Learn more here.
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